Mass For Patricia

There will be an 8:30 mass held for Trish this Palm Sunday at
St. Dominics Church
1050 Flanders Rd
Southington, CT 06489
(860) 628-0349

All are welcome who will be in the area. After we will be having a small charity day, including making a care package for Chris, sending her flowers, etc. Call if you can come, my home is open to all :)
860.919.5297

~ADRIA

a year later ~ a laugh

I wanted to keep this lighthearted, because this is the most trying times. This is the photo I have up of Trish in my room. I moved into my apartment in New Haven, Connecticut in October 2008. It was the first photo to go up, remained the only photo until about December when I got my act together and started decorating the studio a little more. It was taken when she came to visit Lauren and I in New York in December 2007. I'm not going to lie, we had a little to drink. What i LOVE about this picture, is that perfect moment when the photographer asked us to make a funny face and I go for the cutesy default pursed lips (this photo is going to be seen by other people ya know...) and Trish goes for the all out contorted lips, crossed eyes, flaired nose, tongue out prize winning make a funny face shot. Godda love it.

Canstruction to Remember

Patricia,

We did it!! We repeated your Structural Ingenuity with our structure this year!!
Build night was a blast, stressful at times and down to the very last second, but it was all worth it. The awards ceremony was so nice, they gave us a certificate in your memory and then I gave a speech. I know you were there listening, but I want to share it with you again:

11/13/08 Canstruction Speech;
My name is Lisa Jolley and I am a Project Coordinator at Hanbury Evans Wright Vlattas + Company. I would like to thank the CANstruction Committee for allowing Hanbury Evans and the design community to remember Patricia Parker-Williams in this way. I would also like to welcome SGT. Chris Williams, Patricia’s husband, and his parents, Henry and Arthier Williams, for joining us for this event.

I had the great pleasure of knowing and loving Patricia. She was a vibrant young woman who was passionate about three things: her family, her design career, and helping others in her community.

Patricia loved CANstruction because:
1. It is an event that uses design for the greater good of the community.
2. It makes architects think outside the box.
3. It feeds hundreds of Hampton Roads families.

The design aspect of this event was so important to Patricia that she shared a concern with last year’s CANstruction Committee. “We are architecture firms, and we should design not just mindlessly stack cans on ply,” she challenged us. The fact that using less plywood is more environmentally sound was also on her mind.

Hanbury Evans has dedicated its structure, Yosemite Spam, to her memory. We used a structural system—no plywood—designed by Patricia for last year’s firm entry that earned the “2007 Structural Ingenuity Award.”

Patricia, we know you are watching us tonight. We hope our effort embodies your passion and ideal for design and community. We feel certain you are proud of all that your colleagues, coworkers and friends have accomplished here tonight, and that you are comforted by the knowledge that so many families will have food for the holidays. Hanbury Evans would like to thank you all for taking part in this event and helping us celebrate the life and memory of Patricia Parker-Williams.

We love and miss you Patricia.. Always keep smiling down on us!!

Here are some pictures for those that couldn't be there in person....

Canstruction

I didn't think it was possible to miss you any more than I already did, but alas, I have found that I miss you more and more as this canstruction process unfolds. I miss your laughter, your understanding and your unending support as things get hard. As rewarding as Canstruction is, it is one of the most stressful things I have ever been a part of. As I talked to Chris the other day he laughed and said you sound just like Trish.. I can see the finish line and I truly hope you are proud of what we have done this year, after all it is for YOU!! We did a practice build today and it went very well, the structure is really coming along. I know you would be happy with the design elements we have incorporated.

Please keep smiling on us, we can feel your sunshine and Trust me, it helps!!

Love always,
Lisa

P.S. Happy belated birthday Pat!!

It seems like Yesterday

It seems like yesterday you and I were at having she-crab soup at Nordies, talking about life and about being exactly where we were destined to be. I can't believe that it has been 6 months since you were taken away. My heart has still not recovered from the shock and sadness of knowing that I would never get to share that soup and those talks with my "soul sister" again. You have taken a part of my heart with you Patricia and although I know you are smiling down on us everyday, I can't help but wish I could see you and talk to you just once more. There are so many things I want to tell you, so many things that have happened since you left and that I have had to experience on my own because you were the only one that would truly understand. Chris has been amazing, he is such an awesome guy and I thank God everyday that I have had the pleasure of having you both in my life. I am a better person because of you Patricia and 6 months from now it will still be the same, you are forever in my thoughts and in my heart.

We miss you and We love you - Please keep smiling on us..

Patricia Parker Williams Honor Award

(summary of presentation at June 18, 2008 firm meeting)

In loving memory of Patricia Parker Williams, the firm announces a new annual program to celebrate her life and spirit. The Patricia Parker Williams Honor Award will recognize any individual within the firm who exemplifies Patricia’s qualities. These include, but are not limited to, her scholarship, creativity, curiosity, leadership, positivity, and motivation. In addition to recognition, this award empowers the recipient to keep the firm invested and engaged in important civic causes that reflect Patricia’s heart for charity and goodwill. The recipient will assume the role of “charitable chair” to facilitate the conversation to select an annual charitable project that could range from a community or client cause to a design competition. Each recipient and cause will be documented in a log or “year book” — which will be included in the firm history and timeline. Over time, this will tell the story of how Patricia has had an ongoing impact on individuals and the community as the firm continues to reach out in service in her memory. It reminds us that we can be better individuals and a better firm, for having had the honor and pleasure of sharing a little bit of Patricia’s life and spirit.

Lisa Jolley has been selected as the 2008 and first recipient of this ‘charitable chair’ award. Lisa’s positive spirit, her leadership, her can-do attitude with technology, and her infectious smile embody Patricia’s heart and spirit.

Patricia's Marker

I received this message from Patricia's family last night and wanted to share it. - Lisa

Dear Family;

Sissy’s marker was laid today. Here are some pictures. The cemetery did a wonderful job, and as you can see the marker was magnificent.

Pat and Joe

The cemetery worker lays the marker. He was very efficient and respectful. The funeral director George Weiland was also there. He was on hand for Sissy’s funeral as well.

Here is the detail of the marker. The bronze image is 3D and laid on very nice colored granite.

After the marker was laid we watered the sod and put the flowers and angel back.

Here is Sis and a few of her neighbors. The workers also made sure the adjacent markers were
squared up and level.

Sis’s marker is in the foreground. Her grandfather is at the top of the photo, the marker with the large pot of flowers. You can see how green, lush, and weed-free the grass is around Sis and Dan’s site. This is from our diligent fertilizing and weed treatments. Actually the area is a bit brown from the heat, but this section is due for watering today.

Another picture...

I was clearing out some old photos and came across this cute one of Trish that I took in December and had forgotten about - I thought I'd share.

We miss you, Trish.

The lilies are blooming!

Richard took this picture early last week of the ones on the roof.

Happy Birthday from HEWV

Happy Birthday Patricia. Lisa Jolley made an amazing cake today for you. And Richard keeps your rooftop lilies watered often. We all miss you. I didn't really know you all that well, but I think of you often. And you were on my mind especially today. Happy birthday kiddo - you are one special gal...

Happy Birthday Trish ~

::I miss you::

In Memory of Patricia

On Thursday April 17th 180 lbs of food were donated to the Foodbank of Southeastern Virginia in Memory of Patricia Parker Williams. The assortments of cans and dry goods were collected at HEWV over 40 days as a tribute to Patricia. Thanks to everyone who made a contribution on her behalf.

Dear Patricia, we remember your wonderful smile, your generosity of spirit, your natural inclination to help. It's indescribable how we miss you. Today and always.

Spring Planting...

On Friday a few of us gathered on the green roof of our building to plant Stargazer Lilly bulbs in memory of Trish.









[thanks to Rosie for some of these pics]

From the President of Pratt Institute

Video Link

The following links to a video Patricia's father Joseph asked me to post. I will post what I have, but since I am out of town and only have infrequent access to a computer, it may be a couple days before I can fix any errors - Kurt

Patricia's Video

From Patricia's Aunt Rose

I received this via email and reproduce it at Rose's request - Kurt

We willl never forget our Sissy. She was an original. There will never be another like her. She taught us to love sweetly, kindly, gently, unselfishly; to pursue our passion; to be excellent in thought and deed; to be our greatest, as she was. I daily look at her picture at home and at work and can't believe she has left us. Such a stunnlngly beautiful young woman and with an equally beautiful soul. I will always feel honored to have been her aunt and I will spend my days hoping to be of some comfort to her dearly loved mother and father.

Here is a poem that was read at John Wayne's funeral. Joe, this is for you, as you are a devoted fan of his.

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
Mary Elizabeth Frye (1904-2004)

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight.
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there--I did not die.

Love Always,
Auntie Rosie

Remembering Chris

I have been thinking of Chris in recent days, and thought it time to remember him, too. God bless you, Chris, and thank you for making Patricia so happy - Kurt

What Grieving People Want You to Know
By Virginia A. Simpson, Ph.D

1. I am not strong. I'm just numb. When you tell me I am strong, I feel that you don't see me.

2. I will not recover. This is not a cold or the flu. I'm not sick. I'm grieving and that's different. I will not always be grieving as intensely, but I will never forget my loved one and rather than recover, I want to incorporate his life and love into the rest of my life. That person is part of me and always will be, and sometimes I will remember him with joy and other times with a tear. Both are okay.

3. I don't have to accept the death. Yes, I have to understand that it has happened and it is real, but there are just some things in life that are not acceptable.

4. Please don't avoid me. You can't catch my grief. My world is painful, and when you are too afraid to call me or visit or say anything, you isolate me at a time when I most need to be cared about. If you don't know what to say, just come over, give me a hug or touch my arm, and gently say, "I'm sorry." You can even say, "I just don't know what to say, but I care, and want you to know that."

5. Please don't say, "Call me if you need anything." I'll never call you because I have no idea what I need. Trying to figure out what you could do for me takes more energy than I have. So, in advance, let me give you some ideas:

Bring food.

Offer to take my children to a movie or game so that I have some moments to myself.

Send me a card on special holidays, birthdays (mine, his or hers), or the anniversary of the death, and be sure and mention her name. You can't make me cry. The tears are here and I will love you for giving me the opportunity to shed them because someone cared enough about me to reach out on this difficult day.

Ask me more than once to join you at a movie or lunch or dinner. I may so no at first or even for a while, but please don't give up on me because somewhere down the line, I may be ready, and if you've given up, then I really will be alone.

6. Try to understand that this is like I'm in a foreign country where I don't speak the language and have no map to tell me what to do. Even if there were a map, I'm not sure right now I could understand what it was saying. I'm lost and in a fog. I'm confused.

7. When you tell me what I should be doing, then I feel even more lost and alone. I feel bad enough that my loved one is dead, so please don't make it worse by telling me I'm not doing this right.

8. Please don't call to complain about your husband, your wife, or your children. Right now, I'd be delighted to have my loved one here no matter what they were doing.

9. Please don't tell me I can have other children or need to start dating again. I'm not ready. And maybe I don't want to. And besides, what makes you think people are replaceable? They aren't. Whoever comes after, will always be someone different.


10. I don't even understand what you mean when you say, "You've got to get on with your life." My life is going on, but it may not look the way you think it should. This will take time and I never will be my old self again. So please, just love me as I am today, and know, that with your love and support, the joy will slowly return to my life. But I will never forget and there will always be times that I cry.

From Laura in London, with whom we are consulting on the Rice project in which Patricia was deeply involved, comes this internal email from her office (which I reproduce unedited):

As we developed the Rice project we were required to put it into a CAD model. Patricia, who worked with HEWV our Executive Architects started it and came to London, from Norfolk, Virginia to progress the coordination with the BIM model of the project for a week last year.
She sat near Patrick and worked with our team for a week. We were all impressed at how fast she was in translating project details into the BIM model, or Revit as some one calls it.
It was a real pleasure working with her, always smiling. If Jimmy - from HEWV - hadn't threaten me that I absolutely wasn't allowed, we would certainly thought about trying to keep her with us...

While she was in London, socializing with the team, she mentioned the girl scout cookies to someone in our team and how good they are - these are cookies that are baked for the girls scouts to sell around to raised money.
This team member - I have yet to identify - was really curious and keen to taste the famous cookies.
When she went back, among the other stories I suppose she must have told about us (one I know, she said that AB looks very much like Austin Powers!) she mentioned to Richard, father of a girl scout, that HA was very interested in the "girl scout cookies"!

This year we went to Virginia to work with HEWV, saw the offices, worked with the team and then finally went for dinner. Jimmy invited all on the team and Patricia was part of the group. We had a lovely time and a delicious dinner together.

Only a few weeks after we learned that Patricia died in her sleep of a brain aneurysm. She was 2 4 , just married last year before her husband went to Iraq to fight with the USA army. It was a great shock and very sad time for all our friends at HEWV, and for how small we counted in her life, for us Rice team too.

Katrin and I just came back from another trip in Norfolk, Virginia. After a long time unsuccessfully trying to investigate who at HA(USA) was so interested in girl scout cookies, and which flavour they where interested in, Richard very kindly just gave us a the most enormous box of all sorts. I have travelled with it, not without raising interest and curiosity at airports (What does the box contain Madame? Oooohhhhhh so really they are girl cookies!!!!!!!)...

So here they are. Please come to the Building 2 to taste the famous "girl scout cookies"... certainly there are enough for everyone!

Thanks you Richard... thank you Patricia!

From Jennifer, a former Summer (2006) Scholar in our student intern program- Kurt

I am shocked and saddened by your news. Patricia was such a likable and friendly person. She seemed so well-rounded, intelligent, and driven at such a young age. I admired her for that. I remember she came up to all of the interns after we presented our portfolios to the firm and commended us on doing such a great job. I really appreciated her comments and she immediately put me at ease.

I am so sad to hear of her passing. Please extend my condolences to her family and friends.

Message from Amanda-Jane

I received a message a week or so ago via Facebook from Amanda-Jane Baptiste (who used to work in the Tampa office) - Catherine

I still can't believe it. I'm really really saddened by her passing. I really am. I remember how she, Steve St. Marie, Greg Rutledge and Ruby sat at our table during the Holiday Christmas party '06 and just made me feel right at home since I knew only names and no faces of the people in Norfolk. She was a very sweet and funny girl. I truly wish I would've known her better, but am glad that the much I do know was great.

My heart goes out to her family and her fiance.